My husband works out of state for 2 weeks at a time, then home for a week, then out of town for 2 weeks, and on and on. We got married 3.5 months ago. One of those work rotations, he was actually gone for 5 weeks at a time. I’m not saying this to be negative. I have accepted it as a fact. I’m not upset by it except that I miss him constantly.
There have actually been a few positives that have come out of this schedule. I know, you wouldn’t think so. I went from being a mother of 3 to a mother of 10 overnight. You would think my husband being gone for weeks at a time would make this even more difficult. But I think that this actually helped the 7 kids that were new to me, bond with me. They had to get to know me and depend on me because their dad was at work. We all bonded (at various levels depending on their age, of course) very quickly! I’m incredibly thankful for this. I’m thankful that it had seemed so easy. That we could all get to know each other and for them to learn that they can depend on me.
With that said, I would be completely overjoyed to have my husband (his name is John or JP – let’s just get that introduction out of the way) not leave town for work. I’m not saying that it’s good he’s out of town or that any of us are happy about it. But there have been some positive things that have come from it, and for that I can be grateful.
Whenever he’s out of town, I have at least one tiny person climb into bed with me. It’s like they know. They know there’s room in the bed. They know that I wouldn’t mind the cuddles. Usually it’s one (or both) of the 3 year olds.
The last 2 weeks that he was out of town, I had a really hard time dealing with kids fighting with each other. It isn’t always like this. They do get along really well. But every once in a while, they fight. They’re mean to each other. They make fun of each other. I mean, they are kids. But I have to admit. It breaks my heart every time. It doesn’t matter which kid it is. I have a really hard time hearing them be mean to each other. Really hard. This was the last 2 weeks.
Whenever John called, I told him things were fine. Kids were fighting a bit but all was well. I didn’t want to worry him or stress him out. So by the time he got home after the 2 weeks, my heart was done. I was stressed, on the verge of tears most of the time, and… cranky.
During those 2 weeks, the word Grace kept showing up. Then I remembered that I had downloaded the audio book version Amazed by Grace by Sheri Dew. I kept thinking I should listen to it but was already reading another book so I put the thought aside.
When my husband got home I had the clear thought – fast. Okay, I fasted. I prayed. I was still cranky. The next day I got the same thought – fast. What? No way, I think my brain is unhinged. Being weird. Why would I have to fast 2 days in a row? I didn’t. I know. But I didn’t. I was still cranky. The next day while making breakfast for the kids, I had the same clear thought – fast. Okay, okay. I get it. I fasted. I prayed. Later that day, I broke down in tears and told my husband how upset I was about it all. Apparently I have a lot of work to do on my stubbornness. Good thing God knows that too! Ha!
John, being the strong smart man he is, told me that even if he’s not here, the power of prayer is real and I should never not tell him things just because he is not here to help. Because he can help. Touche.
I asked if he would give me a blessing before he left for work again. I honestly believe that this power is very underutilized. Every time I get a prompting to ask for a blessing. I ask. There are no requirements, no special cases we need to wait for to find out what our Heavenly Father has to say to us. If you think you need or want a blessing. Ask.
One of the many things that was said in that blessing was that I was basically told that all I have to do is ask for the strength and help I need and it will be sent automatically. Grace.
Yesterday my husband left back to work and I finished the other book I was reading. So today, I pulled up that book – Amazed by Grace, by Sheri Dew. I had it finished before 9am.
Do you know what it said?
When you are overwhelmed, your faith can unlock Divine power. This will give you comfort, peace, and strength.
The fact that I kept feeling like I should listen to this book during those 2 difficult weeks… I probably should have listened.
If you haven’t read it. Read it. It’s good.